Columns Archives

Disquieting Modern Trends: Our Prescience Frightens Us Edition

Will Layman & Ed Fischer

Little did we know, friends, that when we dropped goofy little Footnote #2 in our most recent missive, we were setting off a series of events that would shake up the world of what still passes for entertainment these days. We feel compelled to review the bidding and offer you--our ever-salivating-for-more public--a response commensurate to our position as cultural provacateurs à la mode.

— Disquieting Modern Trends —

Disquieting Modern Trends: Things That Should Work Better in an Age of Unprecedented Technological Mastery and Yet, Maddeningly, Do Not Edition

Will Layman & Ed Fischer

Nail Clippers | Solvents | Cellphones, Cellphone VoiceMail, Basically the Entire Telecom Promise of Constant and Immediate Connection | The Fact That You No Longer Have to Sign Your Credit Card Slips Which Suggests That, in Fact, You Never Really Had to Sign the Damned Things at All Even Though, for Years, They Made It Seem Like You Absolutely DID | Microwave Ovens

— Nick's Guff —

R.I.P., Nipsey Russell

Nick Jezarian

— Letter from the Editors —

Attn: N.Y.C.-Area Actors

There's a casting call for an independent film seeking your dramatic talents and pretty faces. Plus: the chance to be directed by your humble Y.P.R. coëditor, Josh Abraham. Details via Back Stage magazine reproduced here, but please do check out...

— Vermont Girl —

Woodstock

Amy Stender

In Which Amy Visits a Working Dairy Farm and Tries to Find a Neck

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In classical Greek architecture, columns were of three orders: Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian. Doric columns were spartan (though, not Spartan) and simple, boringly consisting of a flat, unadorned frieze atop a 20-paneled shaft. Geometrically sound, but visually blah. If Al Gore were an ancient Greek column, you can bet he'd be Doric. Ionic columns, however, had a natty sense of Old World style: sleek, elegant, with just the right amount of flair up top. They were leaner than their Doric brothers, capped by a curlicuey, scroll-shaped hat. Corinthian columns were essentially suped-up Ionians: its shaft was identical, but its tippy-top was overly ornate. Trying to outdo Ionic's cool panache is an exercise in futility; the result is a flamboyant eyesore. Y.P.R. apologizes for resorting to so cheap a pun, but that's all we got. Anyway, on with the columns.

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