Belabor Day

VH1’s “I Love Christopher Monks’s Labor Day Weekend 1986” by the eponymous idle thinker, Mr. C. Monks.

& Recently . . .

Doing Our Part

A Pleasing Labor Day to You All

The Unspoken Vasquez: James Cameron's Aliens, First Folio by Michael Rottman

Editor's Letter by Mick Stingley

Amendments to the New Iraqi Constitution by J. M. Houk

Memo to the Executives by Ron Burch

Polish Fact

Local long-form name:
Rzeczpospolita Polska
(The Republic of Poland)

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

¿Habla Español?
¡Choque y temor! ¡Misión lograda! ¿Qué guerra?
Shock and awe! Mission accomplished! What war?

Y.P.aRt Gallery

Syndicate! RSD | RSS I | RSS II | Atøm
Large Print | Spanish Bea! Add to your Kinja digest Creative Commons License
This journal is licensed under a Creative Commons License and powered by Movable Typo 3.15.
© MMV, Y.P.R. & Co.
Friday, June 28, 2002   |    Fruit Salad

Untitled Post

by Geoff Wolinetz

As I sit here once again behind my desk at a major media company, my injured right knee emits a dull throb as it has for the last 8 days. I pray for relief and it comes in the form of a Winnie-the-Pooh jigsaw puzzle. I attached as a link not a picture of the puzzle, which depicts a hungry and desperate Winnie attempting to knock down a bees’ nest as angry bees circle the hive, but rather a black and white picture of Winnie. I implore you to gaze longingly at his rotund form. Color him. Do not be afraid.

My friend Jackie dressed as Winnie-the-Pooh last year for Halloween. I have the picture on the wall of my office. Halloween is my favorite of all holidays. It is both festive and haunting, spooky yet bacchanalian. I had a party at my spacious 3 bedroom Upper West Side apartment for last Halloween. Camile Paglia attended. I was, however, confounded by her costume. She came completely naked with but a lemon tied around her waist, explaining that she was a "Sour Puss." I mean no offense. Camile Paglia is a dear friend of mine. She delighted my partygoers with her delicious impersonation of William F. Buckley Jr. She is a splendid and marvelous woman.

I sit here and ponder my future at this major media company. I know it will not be long before I grab someone by their fat oppressor head and scream, "I will not continue to be transgendered by your evil hate company. I will collect my things and leave as soon as I receive my check for unpaid vacation days." It will not bother them, for I am just a meaningless cog in their poorly oiled machine, not to mention that they probably will not know who I am. Press on, major media company, and watch your stock continue to plummet. It will not be long, friends, the revolution is nigh.

And no one’s getting fat, except Mama Cass. And Winnie-the-Pooh.

Geoff Wolinetz cannot be found on IMDb because the Hollywood community refuses to acknowledge the production of his seminal masterpiece Come What May, a gritty psychothriller starring a guy who kind of looks like Billy Baldwin and Erin Gray (formerly of "Silver Spoons"). If he were to be found on IMDb, his name would fall between "Geoff Witcher" and "Geoff Wood." In addition to his imaginary film career, Geoff also maintains an imaginary career as a baron of industry, is lead singer of the imaginary band Kick Ass, Falco, holds an imaginary Olympic gold medal and is an imaginary Pulitzer laureate in the field of journalism for his investigative piece on the albinos of Alaska.