— More cleavage on the girl.
— The guy’s jokes aren’t funny. Are they supposed to be? Or are we going for awkward?
— How many sisters does she have? Three? Four? I’m confused.
— The whole bit about her ex-boyfriend doesn’t really go anywhere. Lose it.
— Italian restaurant is cliché. If we go Italian, make it red-checkered tablecloths and annoying guys singing, etc. Let’s make it something more exciting, something with the opportunity for conflict. Karaoke? Bowling? Something.
— How many times does she go to the bathroom? It gets redundant.
— The story he tells about cow-tipping upstate is dumb. Lose it.
— The waiter is almost nonexistent. Spice up his character more. Maybe he’s clumsy and spills something on his pants. That could be funny. Give him a thicker accent too, it may provide some opportune confusion. Or lose the whole restaurant.
— The guy is fidgety. The girl is annoying. I’m not really sure I like either one of them. Not much chemistry. Needs work.
— The whole second act kind of stretches thin.
— The guy who proposed to her in her story—Is that the same ex-boyfriend who went stalky? It’s confusing, and it sounds very sitcom-y. Combine these characters, or lose them.
— When they get drunk, they’re REALLY annoying. She gets talky and sappy, he gets obnoxious. Make them get goofy, funny, drunk—and maybe a little randy. Think more Sex & the City and less Leaving Las Vegas.
— Why doesn’t this end in sex? Where’s the resolution?