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Sunday, March 23, 2003
Oscar Coverage 2003

Complete List of Nominees

[Bold = Should win. ] [Red = Will win. ]

Best Best Boy:

  • Igor Jelen, xXx
  • Alexander Griffiths, Adaptation.
  • Arthur D. Whitehead, Spider-Man
  • Malcolm Nefsky, Chicago
  • Todd Piepenbrok, 8 Mile

Best Performance by Maggie Gyllenhaal:

  • Drew Barrymore’s Sexy Roommate, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
  • Cute Makeup Girl I’m in Love With, Adaptation.
  • Hot Chick I Want to Nail on Top of a Hewlett-Packard Copier, Secretary
  • Girl in a Movie I Didn’t See, but with Whom I Still Want to Sleep, 40 Days and 40 Nights

Best Supporting Rack:

  • Natalie Portman as Padmé Amidala, her shirt conveniently torn in half, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
  • Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, soaking wet and confused, Spider-Man
  • Liv Tyler as Arwen, pointy ears and all, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
  • Halle Berry as Jinx the black Bond babe, Die Another Day
  • Monica Bellucci as Sylvia, the naked assassin hooker, Brotherhood of the Wolf

Best Moment That Creeped Me Out:

  • Salma Hayak looks like my Uncle Manny, Frida
  • Two hobbits in love, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
  • Trying to swallow Tiffani Thiessen or Téa Leoni as a plausible love interest for Woody Allen, Hollywood Ending
  • Kathy Bates stark nekkid, About Schmidt
  • What’s unintentionally implied by the title, The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

Best Reason to Revoke a Previously Awarded Oscar:

  • Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.
  • Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.
  • Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.
  • Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.
  • Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.

Best Title Translated into Another Language:

  • 8 Miglia, Italian.
  • Rollen für Columbine, German
  • Confessions d’un Esprit Dangereux, French
  • Meu Casamento Grego Gordo Grande, Portuguese
  • Muerte a Smoochy, Spanish