Sally Forth

Hey, remember The Fourth of July, 2003? We don't, but found this in our archives:

Fourth of July Fourthiness.

Independence is on the march, patriots.

& Recently . . .

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks by Angela Genusa

"B.L.T.": A Review by Will Layman

Ten Tiny Poems by Brian Beatty

Angry Words from a Gnome Who to This Day Continues to Think the Human Genome Project Was Actually The Human Gnome Project by David Ng

Key Party, N.Y.C., Circa Always by William K. Burnette

A Day on the Phone with Mythological Norse Firewarrior, Bringer of Storms by Aaron Belz

Polish Fact

Gross Domestic Product:
$373.2 billion (2002 est.)

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Learn German!
Gute Himmel, haben Sie einen reizenden Busen. Mag ich ihn berühren?
Good heavens, you have a lovely bosom. May I touch it?

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Monday, April 14, 2003   |    Non-Fiction

Top 10 Things That Sucked about My Day (In No Particular Order)

by Jason Kucharsky

6. Oprah discussed the war with Iraq; many women were waiting to hear what they should think. Also, I was home and watching Oprah.

2. The toilet paper at work was downgraded to half-ply. With visible wood chips.

10. My accountant told me the only reason I would be getting a return this year was due to the fact I fall into the same tax bracket as unemployed single mothers. But would they date me?

8. While rummaging through a drawer in search of a girl’s number, I came across a photo of myself when I was young, thin, and happy. The number she gave me: Not her number.

1. I decided to quit cigarettes again, but saw: “Limited-Time Offer! 3 Packs for the Price of 2!” So, moral of the story: a good bargain trumps healthy lungs.

5. I checked my balance at a bodega’s ATM to see if a check had cleared. I got hit with a $2.50 cover charge, which in turn thwarted my exact-to-the-penny mental balancing and caused the check I was checking to bounce.

6. The lady at the Chinese take-out place asked me if I was my father’s brother or son. Also, they were out of moo-shoo pork.

3. That’s all I can think of. But I’m sure there’s more.

Jason Kucharsky was born and raised. He has a flair for many languages including English, British, Australian, and bullshit. While studying a broad one summer, he discovered his fondness of the written word as well as Genoa salami. Mr. Kucharsky now writes screenplays, poetry, and fiction at a furious pace, and has numerous Hollywood projects in various stages of development. Also a prolific inventor, he holds several trademarks and has patents pending.