Sally Forth

Hey, remember The Fourth of July, 2003? We don't, but found this in our archives:

Fourth of July Fourthiness.

Independence is on the march, patriots.

& Recently . . .

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks by Angela Genusa

"B.L.T.": A Review by Will Layman

Ten Tiny Poems by Brian Beatty

Angry Words from a Gnome Who to This Day Continues to Think the Human Genome Project Was Actually The Human Gnome Project by David Ng

Key Party, N.Y.C., Circa Always by William K. Burnette

A Day on the Phone with Mythological Norse Firewarrior, Bringer of Storms by Aaron Belz

Polish Fact

Local long-form name:
Rzeczpospolita Polska
(The Republic of Poland)

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Impari L'Italiano
Buone notizie per la gente che ama le notizie difettose.
Good news for people who love bad news.

Y.P.aRt Gallery

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Thursday, May 1, 2003   |    Listicles

Around the World


Empty absinthe bottles
Tags and cardboard from packages of lederhosen
The Daily Sun
Royale with Cheese Styrofoam containers
Liner notes from A-Ha records
Drachmas, marks, francs, lira

Part of Your Complete International Breakfast

Spanish omelet
Belgian waffles
English muffin
Canadian bacon
Swiss cheese
Irish coffee
Freedom toast

Places E! Has Yet to Be Wild On

Gaza Strip!
Club Belarus!
Klub Kosovo!
Disputed Territory!
Winston Churchill’s Old Place!

United Nations Delegates
(Artists & Entertainers)

Michael Jordan
Kathy Ireland
Chad Lowe
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Georgia O’Keefe
Roy Lichtenstein
El Salvador Dalí

Racial Stereotypes that Never Caught On

Asians cannot hold their liquor.
Indians have no pinkie toes. (Indian Indians, not American Indians; they have six toes per foot.)
The Dutch don’t make left hand turns.
Mexicans have really, really flat asses.
Jews don’t acknowledge the existence of the number 6.
Catholics can’t go into a deli without ordering mayonnaise on their corned beef.
Russians are all funny like Yakov Smirnoff. But not “ha ha” funny.
All Swedes are named either Sven or Enrique.
Most Englishmen are really women; most Englishwomen are really Dutch.
All Canadians are Rick Moranis.
Never trust a Turk to mustard your sandwich.
Hungarians smell like chocolate pudding.
Koreans? Gay.
Eskimos eat their young. (Yes, in pies.)