Around the World
Empty absinthe bottles
Tags and cardboard from packages of lederhosen
The Daily Sun
Royale with Cheese Styrofoam containers
Liner notes from A-Ha records
Drachmas, marks, francs, lira
Part of Your Complete International Breakfast
Places E! Has Yet to Be Wild On
Winston Churchill’s Old Place!
United Nations Delegates
(Artists & Entertainers)
Cuba Gooding Jr.
El Salvador Dalí
Racial Stereotypes that Never Caught On
Asians cannot hold their liquor.
Indians have no pinkie toes. (Indian Indians, not American Indians; they have six toes per foot.)
The Dutch don’t make left hand turns.
Mexicans have really, really flat asses.
Jews don’t acknowledge the existence of the number 6.
Catholics can’t go into a deli without ordering mayonnaise on their corned beef.
Russians are all funny like Yakov Smirnoff. But not “ha ha” funny.
All Swedes are named either Sven or Enrique.
Most Englishmen are really women; most Englishwomen are really Dutch.
All Canadians are Rick Moranis.
Never trust a Turk to mustard your sandwich.
Hungarians smell like chocolate pudding.
Eskimos eat their young. (Yes, in pies.)