Sally Forth

Hey, remember The Fourth of July, 2003? We don't, but found this in our archives:

Fourth of July Fourthiness.

Independence is on the march, patriots.

& Recently . . .

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks by Angela Genusa

"B.L.T.": A Review by Will Layman

Ten Tiny Poems by Brian Beatty

Angry Words from a Gnome Who to This Day Continues to Think the Human Genome Project Was Actually The Human Gnome Project by David Ng

Key Party, N.Y.C., Circa Always by William K. Burnette

A Day on the Phone with Mythological Norse Firewarrior, Bringer of Storms by Aaron Belz

Polish Fact

Zloty Exchange Rate:

1 USD = 3.95 PLN
1 Euro = 4.67 PLN

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Learn Français!:
Quoi-ques; évidemms; ainsi bourdonnz.
Whatevs; obvs; so buzz.

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Monday, June 9, 2003   |    Non-Fiction

“Rectum? I Damn Near Killed ’Em!”

by David Abraham

Chapter Titles from Living with Your Colitis and Hemorrhoids (and Related Disorders) by Theodore Berkland, A.M., Leslie Sandlow, M.D., and Richard Shaprio, M.D.

© 1975, St. Martin’s Press

[Discovered for Sale at a Thrift Shop in St. Louis, Missouri, and Deemed Too Priceless a Treasure to Pass Up]

1. Brenda’s Colitis
2. Understanding Your Colon and Rectum
3. How the Doctor Diagnoses Your Problem
4. How Emotions Affect Your Colon
5. Itchy Anus, Bleeding Rectum
6. Germs and Worms
7. Ulcerative Colitis
8. Polyps and Cancer
9. Before and After Your Operation
10. Living with Your Stoma
11. Living with Yourself

Other Titles Written by Theodore Berland, A.M.

Noise—The Third Pollution
Peptic Ulcer—The Quiet Epidemic
X-Ray—Vanguard of Modern Science
Living with Your Ulcer
Living with Your Bad Back
Living with Your Eye Operation
Living with Your Bronchitis and Emphysema

(with Gordon L. Snider, M.D.)
How to Keep Your Teeth after 30

David Abraham is an ordained reverend of the Universal Life Church who enjoys the simplicity of trampolines and Popsicles. His film career was stifled by embarrassment when, after many deafening takes, he instinctively covered his ears before Eva Marie Saint fired a gun at Cary Grant in North by Northwest. (Zombie Hitchcock still holds a grudge.) His inventions include the pet rock, neon, upside-down ketchup, and How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way. Despite some misfires (Pogs, the WB), he oozes brilliance; with so many ideas stirring, his head frequently swells as big as a medium-sized watermelon (only once taking on a similar texture). David can reach true Zen by closing his right eye, bringing his left index finger to his temple, and focusing on Stan Bush’s inspirational song "The Touch" from Transformers: the Movie. He also once shared a bus ride with the smartest man in Boston.