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Friday, August 1, 2003   |    Fiction

Behind the Scenes: Gigli

Plot Synopsis

Larry Gigli (Ben Affleck) is a mob thug who must team up with sassy, sexy Ricki (Jennifer Lopez) to complete a job. At first, Gigli is fooled by the rocks Ricki got. She used to have a little, she explains, now she has a lot. No matter where she goes, she knows where she came from (from the Bronx). She’s still, she’s still Ricki from the block. Gigli is no longer fooled by the rocks Ricki got.

Behind-the-Scenes Secrets!

Producer Casey Silver dropped his pants every time someone would ask, “Where’s Gigli?”

To achieve the appropriate jiggle, pudding had to be shoved down Ms. Lopez’s pants every forty minutes.

Al Pacino was not scheduled to appear in the movie until he got lost on the studio lot and stumbled onto the set by accident. Lopez’s squad of burly Teamsters kept him there … for six weeks!

Likewise, Christopher Walken, who only arrived in search of his missing pal Al.

It took a team of 16 people to animate Ben Affleck’s three emotions.

J.Lo’s ass was removed and hermetically sealed every night after shooting.

J. Lo’s role was originally intended for Linda Hunt; a typo on the casting sheet called for “bitchy lesbian” instead of “butchy lesbian.”

Affleck was also cast due to typographical errors; “smooth leading man” mistakenly read “wooden tool.”

When released in China, the film was retitled as Schindler’s List.

Affleck needed to be oiled every hour on the hour, and squeezed every two hours.

Every time someone knocked on Pacino’s closed trailer, he would scream, “Leave me alone! I’m repenting for being in such a terrible movie! Hoo-ah!”

Christopher Walken breaks into hives whenever the word “Gigli” is pronounced with a hard ‘G.’

Director was overheard saying, “Never in my life have a seen a more awkward clumsy love scene. These two are terrible lovers and terrible actors.”

Jennifer Lopez likes to sleep in Ben Affleck’s red pleather Daredevil suit. Affleck enjoys prancing around in Lopez’s “Here’s my nips” dress.

A cameo by Matt Damon playing a hit man named Zhilee (pronounced Giggly) was cut from the completed film. Originally, when the two gangsters receive each other’s hit assignments due to name mix-ups, hilarity ensues and then they shoot each other in the face. Though this ending tested well, producers decided against it.

Role of “Gigli” written for Clint Howard but he declined on account of “a shitty script, poor production team and zero interest.”

After initial test screenings, writer/director Martin Brest was expelled from the W.G.A., the D.G.A., and his book club. Producer Casey Silver was sentenced to 800 hours community service. Cinematographer Robert Elswit was killed and eaten by editor Julie Monroe.

Affleck and J. Lo will be back in Jersey Girl, directed by Kevin “Affleck” Smith this fall. Be careful.