& Recently . . .

Possible Names for My Rock Band

Goes to Bollywood Vömit Johnny Clash Men without Work Retro Johnny and the Kitschy References Stinkbömb. Kick Ass, Falco The Mama’s Boys Wheezin’ Jesus and the Asthmatics Holy Inhaler: a Tribute to Wheezin’ Jesus and the Asthmatics Carol Burnett…

Dear Christina Aguilera

by Jackie Alameda

Dear Ms. Aguilera, I used to believe that you were just another irritating pop star, but I recently read a bit of gossip about you placing Kelly Osbourne in a headlock, and I freely admit that I was wrong. You…

“I Am Your Governor” by Arnold Schwarzenegger

Greetings, meek humans of California! It is I, Arnold, the Austrian Oak, your future governor. You will have no other governors before me! I decree it. It is done. Disobey me, and I will smite you with my gargantuan…

Polish Fact

Two equal horizontal bands of white (top) and red (bottom); similar to the flags of Indonesia and Monaco which are red (top) and white (bottom)

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Was ist im Leben am besten? Ihre Feinde zerquetschen, sie sehen, gefahren vor Ihnen und die Wehklage der Frauen hören!
What is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

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Tuesday, August 19, 2003   |    Birthday Cards to Celebrities

Happy Birthday, John Stamos!

August 19, 1963 | John Stamos | actor


Happy 40th Birthday!

First you ruined the Beach Boys for me. Now you’ve taken Rebecca Romijn away from me! What next? You knock up my sister? I’m just kidding: I don’t give a shit about the Beach Boys. Those guys are just silly pansies in Bermuda shorts.

Ray Stillman