A Postcard from Paris
The Hamptons just isn’t the same without you! I miss you so much! I can’t wait to see you as soon as you get done having sex with all of the Green Bay Packers! I saw you on “Page Six” this morning. You looked fab! So sexy! Oh! I saw Tara Reid last night. She says hi. We did lots of blow and then slept with six guys and a donkey! Hey, did you ever have waffles à la mode? We did. It was awesome! Miss you, little sister! Don’t forget to feed Muffy!
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P.S. I accidentally bumped into and then slept with Carson Daly and Jimmy Kimmel at some bar last night. They want us to tag-team mud-wrestle the Olsen twins on TV. I said I’d have to check with you first. Who are the Olsen twins?