I am Y.P.R.'s Boring Logo
Fun, Fickle Fiction (for Free!) Fact, Opinion, Essay, & Review Spectacular Features, Calendrical Happenings, Media Gadflies Poetry & Lyric Advice, How To, & Self-Help Listicles Semi-Frequent Columns Correspondence (Letters To and Letters From) Interviews The Book Club Letter from the Editors Disquieting Modern Trends Birthday Cards to Celebrities New & Noteworthy The Y.P.aRt Gallery Et Cetera, Et Cetera, Et Cetera The Y.P.aRchives Submit
supportbar.jpg Bea!
  Creative Commons License
This journal is licensed under a Creative Commons License and powered by Movable Typo 3.15.
Y.P.R. & Co.
The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastily Written & Slopilly Edited
Wednesday, September 3, 2003   |    Birthday Cards to Celebrities

Happy Birthday, Charlie Sheen!

September 3, 1964 | Charlie Sheen | hot shot

Dear Charlie,

Happy 38th Birthday!

For a child of privilege who spent the bulk of his youth blowing gigantic quantities of cash on hookers and drugs, you sure did O.K. for yourself! Damn, your wife is a hot piece of ass. I too have squandered my youth on drugs and hookers, but all I got to show for it a rap sheet as long as this nasty scar on my thigh. It’s kind of a gnarly scar, I guess, but it’s no Denise Richards. Well, good luck with your new sitcom, Chuckie.

Your friend,
Ray Stillman

StumbleUpon Toolbar add to add to Fark reddit.gif Furl this, please.