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Y.P.R. & Co.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Sem Ordnilap Ytir Belec: Celebrity Palindromes

“Lisa Bonet ate no basil.”
Lenny Kravitz, summing up their last lunch date.

“Men, I’m Eminem!”
The rapper, upon entering prison.

“Yes, sir—Romeo foe: Morrissey.”
The singer reaffirms his asexuality.

“Damn! I, Agassi, miss again! Mad!”
The tennis player, after being exposed to gamma rays.

“To Idi Amin: I’m a idiot!”

“Oprah deified Harpo.”

“No, Mel Gibson is a casino’s big lemon.”
— The pope, clairifying what he meant by “It is as it was.”

“Vanna, wanna ‘V’?”
Pat Sajak, getting randy after six rounds of Maker’s Mark.

“Is Don Adams mad? (A nod.) Si!”
Director of Mexico’s Nick a Noche.

“Age, irony, Noriega.”
G.H.W.B., recalling good times.

“To Jay Leno: Lonely? A jot.”
E-mail subject line from Johnny.

“O.J. nabs banjo. “
Headline in Brentwood local paper.

“Not sin; Aniston.”
Brad Pitt, explaining the black eye.

“Draw? Oh no, Ron Howard. “
Henry Winkler flunking art class.

“Nobel? No, miss, Simon Le Bon.”
The Duraner mistaking the prestigious ceremony for the MTV Europe Awards.

“Flog sad loser Al Gore. Zero glares, old as golf.”
Bill O’Reilly, reporting the 2000 election.

“So, G. Rivera’s tots are Virgos.”
Madame Lydia, astrologer to the ‘stars.’

“Depardieu, go razz a rogue I draped.”
Ridley Scott, directing the actor on set of 1492.

“Alan Alda stops racecar, spots ad: “Lana—L.A.”
NBC executive pitching a midseason replacement series.

“Set at serif, as Safire states.”
From The New York Times Manual of Style & Usage

“Sis, ask Costner to not rent socks “as is.”

“Tarzan raised Desi Arnaz’ rat.”
Lucille Ball, explaining why her cat’s tail is a bloody stump.

“E. Borgnine drags Dad’s gardening robe.”
Chapter 3 of the unauthorized biography, Ernest: The Man, the Myth.

“Toni Tennille fell in net. I, not!”
The Captain, drunk again.

“T. Eliot nixes sex in toilet.”
The poet approving the musical adaptation of Cats.

“Gustav Klimt milk vats—ug! “
The worst part of art-history class.

“O, Geronimo; no minor ego.”
Chief Crazy Horse on hubris.

“Plan no damn Madonna LP! “
Guy Ritchie advising the D.J.

“Yawn. Madonna fan? No damn way!”
Sean Penn’s acceptance speech.

“Wonder if Sununu’s fired now.”
Kissinger, finally replying to old messages.

“So… Mariah Carey, a LP, a player… a chair, Amos!”
Andy, setting up a game of musical chairs.

“Drat Sadat, a dastard!”
Old Yiddish proverb.

“Drat Saddam, a mad dastard!”
Old Yiddish proverb.

“Oh, no! Don Ho!”
The state of Hawaii

“Sir, a plan, a canal; Paris.”
Rick Salomon’s director’s commentary

“Tupac caput! “
How the news was broken to Biggie.

Palindromes were compiled from various sources throughout the universe; only Morrissey, Eminem, Aniston, Howard, Paris, Tupac were original Y.P.R. creations; further Google searches revealed that Eminem and Howard are already out there.