Sally Forth

Hey, remember The Fourth of July, 2003? We don't, but found this in our archives:

Fourth of July Fourthiness.

Independence is on the march, patriots.

& Recently . . .

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks by Angela Genusa

"B.L.T.": A Review by Will Layman

Ten Tiny Poems by Brian Beatty

Angry Words from a Gnome Who to This Day Continues to Think the Human Genome Project Was Actually The Human Gnome Project by David Ng

Key Party, N.Y.C., Circa Always by William K. Burnette

A Day on the Phone with Mythological Norse Firewarrior, Bringer of Storms by Aaron Belz

Polish Fact

Local long-form name:
Rzeczpospolita Polska
(The Republic of Poland)

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Learn Portuguese!
Christ Doce! Esse prostitute é realmente um homem!
Sweet Christ, that prostitute is really a man!

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Monday, March 1, 2004   |    Fiction

The Passion of the Christ: Official Merchandising HQ

The Passion of the Christ
Official Home Crucifiction Playset ®

$24.95, by Mattel.
2 AA batteries and some assembly required
Recommended for ages 8+

That’s right, now you can RELIVE THE PASSION in your very own backyard with the Officially Licensed Passion of the Christ HOME CRUCIFICTION PLAYSET ® only from Mattel!

Playset includes:
  • 2 wooden posts
  • 4 nails
  • Shroud of Turin
  • 64 oz. bucket of grime
  • 12’ Rope
  • hammer & saw
  • pair of adjustable sandals
  • 2 Roman togas & helmets
  • 2 Evil hook-nosed Jews’ robes
  • 2 prosthetic evil Jew hook noses
  • Christ-killin’ lightsaber
  • Mary Magdalene French-maid costume
  • 16 oz. Nickelodeon Gak
  • Batarang

With the Official Passion of the Christ Home Playset®, you can reënact all your favorite scenes from the hit motion picture, now in theaters. You can play the role of hammerin’ and sawin’ Jesus the Carpenter, or you can be an angry sword-swinging Roman, or a swarthy, sinister, finger-pointing Jew. You can even be sultry, sassy Mary Magdalene! Meow!

The Passion of the Christ:
The Official Novelization ®

by Mel Gerard Gibson
$13.95, Icon Books.

356 pages, 12 illustrations

And, now you can read all about the EXCITING ADVENTURES of your favorite Big-Screen CARPENTER! (And his lovely WHORE, too!) All of Passion of the Christ, conveniently pocket-sized and paper-backed! The perfect gift for any Aramaic bookworm!

See what America’s saying about
The Passion of the Christ: The Official Novelization ®:

“A must-read …” —People Magazine

“… un-put-downable …” —Entertainment Weekly

“What a fucking page-turner …” —Publisher’s Weekly

“It is as it was… awesome!” - Pope John Paul II

The Passion of the Christ:
The Official Fragrance®

Parfum d’Putain
for her
8 oz. Atomizer


You too can smell like sexy Mary Magdalene, the original hooker with a heart of gold, with this exclusive perfume—the ONLY officially licensed Passion of the Christ fragrance! A scintillating scent, evocative of sweat, sand, and sin!

And coming soon:
Parfum d’Putain Bath & Body Wash