Happy 20th Birthday! I totally hope you have the best birthday ever and don’t die! I hope it’s a great day start to finish, and you’re not attacked by rabid dogs or infected with any Third World diseases for which there are no cures. I hope you’re not crushed by any falling meteors or major appliances being airlifted by helicopter. I hope your hair and teeth don’t fall out and your skin isn’t riddled with boils. I also hope you recognize insincerity. Happy birthday!