Oh man, when I was a little kid, I used to love watching “The Love Boat.” My favorite was during the opening credits when everyone would shill for the camera as their name flashed on the screen. I used to love when Isaac would flash those double guns at the screen—BAM! Ha-ha. It was like he was shooting at you. When I was really little, I used to duck so he wouldn’t hit me but then my mom had the doctor give me these pills and I really didn’t feel the need to duck anymore. In fact, after I started taking those pills, I didn’t really feel the need to do anything at all. After that, I stopped watching the show because I heard Lauren Tewes had an insatiable appetite for cocaine. Hey, do you still talk to her? What’s she up to?
Oh, there’s the buzzer. Time to take my pill.
P.S. Whelan. Is that Dutch?