Friday, September 3, 2004
The Republican Convention in N.Y.C.

— Non-Fiction —
Zello, Dolly!

(or: Three Big Boobs)

Senator Zell Miller (left), and country singer Dolly Parton.

Photo found by Rob Theakston, courtesy of Senator Zell Miller.

— Fiction —
Deleted Lines from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Speech at the Republican National Convention
Matthew Tobey
Vote George W. Bush for your Commando-in-Chief!
— Fiction —
My Keynote Address for Tonight’s Family Dinner
Will Layman
While I acknowledge these weaknesses in our family, I am profoundly optimistic about our future. Ours is a great family because we have faith, we have unity, and we have TiVo.
— Fiction —
The As-Yet-Unaired Third "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth" Advertisement
Dennis DiClaudio
John Kerry borrowed five dollars from me, and when I asked for it back, he shook his head, looked confused and said, “What five dollars?”

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