Monday, November 1, 2004

Judy Winslow disappeared after the fourth season. She went up to her bedroom and didn’t come back down. No one has seen her since. The last thing she said before she took that last trip up the stairs was rumored to be “Steve isn’t really a doctor, is he?”

A better documented case of a disappearing Winslow is that of Aunt Rachel. It’s hard to decide which is stranger—the fact that she too went missing from the show with no explanation, or the fact that she left little Richie behind. Not to mention the fact that Little Ritchie looks suspiciously like Carl. Perhaps most disturbing is the documented reference to her during her absence. On the episode entitled “Crashing the Party,” after Steve Urkel drives his Isetta into the Winslow’s living room and spoils her Tupperware party, Harriett grabs him by the suspenders and threatens to go “Aunt Rachel on his ass.”

winslowfamily.gifOne cast member’s disappearance may have a less sinister explanation. Myrtle Urkel, Steve’s Southern-belle cousin, has often been rumored to be none other than Steve Urkel himself in drag, acting out his desires for Eddie in a less threatening way. Sources close to Urkel say that his desire to be a woman was the real motivation for building the transformation chamber. The chamber, incidentally, has long been rumored to have been developed using unsanctioned stem-cell and human-cloning research …

Jeremy Martin once wore a swimsuit as underwear. The longterm consequences are still undetermined.

Book Club
Kitty Kelley's The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty In which Y.P.R. throws (Heinz brand) tomatoes at Ms. Kelley's tell-all biography about our nation's first family.
The Adams Family: My Ill Fated Attempt at Writing a Tell-All Biography about the Adams Dynasty without Doing Any Actual Research The White House at that time was not really white but was actually the hollowed-out carcass of a grizzly bear.
Kelley Putty!™ Fun for the Whole Family! Hey, kids! Tired of boring old Silly Putty™—that gook in a plastic egg you can slap down on a comic and it picks up the image?

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