Sally Forth

Hey, remember The Fourth of July, 2003? We don't, but found this in our archives:

Fourth of July Fourthiness.

Independence is on the march, patriots.

& Recently . . .

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks by Angela Genusa

"B.L.T.": A Review by Will Layman

Ten Tiny Poems by Brian Beatty

Angry Words from a Gnome Who to This Day Continues to Think the Human Genome Project Was Actually The Human Gnome Project by David Ng

Key Party, N.Y.C., Circa Always by William K. Burnette

A Day on the Phone with Mythological Norse Firewarrior, Bringer of Storms by Aaron Belz

Polish Fact

Land Area
304,465 sq. km
(slightly smaller than New Mexico)

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Pergunte a seu doutor se Paxil for direito para você.
Ask your doctor if Paxil is right for you.

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Wednesday, December 1, 2004   |    Fiction

A Fairly Balanced Look at Rightwing Propaganda

Blurbs from My Conservative Colleagues for the Back of My New Conservative Book

by Matthew Tobey

“Matthew Tobey’s words are like bubbles of poisonous foamed milk in the double nonfat half-caff lattes of liberal America!” —Michael Savage

“Once Matthew Tobey’s book enters the body, it works by stimulating certain opioid receptors that are located throughout the central nervous system, in the brain and along the spinal cord. When Matthew Tobey’s book binds to the opioid receptors, a variety of physiologic responses can occur, ranging from pain relief to slowed breathing to euphoria!” —Rush Limbaugh

“Chapters three, eight, eleven and thirty-four are an axis of awesome!” —David Frum

“I can’t decide if I’d rather fashion Matthew Tobey’s book into a phallus and make sweet love to it or fashion it into a bullet and shoot Bill Clinton in the face with it!” —Ann Coulter

“Reading Matthew Tobey’s book made me forget the horrors of prison for about five-seconds. Two thumbs up!” —G. Gordon Liddy

“Matthew Tobey writes with the wit of a latter-day Joe McCarthy and the wisdom of a genetic hybrid of Grover Norquist and Strom Thurmond!” —William Kristol

“I would take the other hand with the baba ghanoush thing and I’d put it on Matthew Tobey’s book’s pussy but you’d have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business!” —Bill O’Reilly

“Out-shrugs Atlas Shrugged!” —Sean Hannity

By day, Matthew Tobey is an editor for All Movie Guide. By night, he operates the Web log The City of Floating Blogs. By afternoon, he will have thought of at least three things that would have made this bio funnier. He is happily married, used to edit Haypenny and enjoys writing about himself in the third person. He can be contacted at