— Fiction —

Dear ABBA

Dear ABBA,

I’m in love with my boss. I’ve talked it over with my mom but she says I shouldn’t do anything about it. She doesn’t want to see me get fired from this job (which I cherish) if the relationship didn’t work out. My boss is sending me all the signals though. He just got back from a business trip (I missed him so much!) and invited me to go with him on the next one. Should I go?

Dear Love Struck,

Dear ABBA,

My wife and I are always fighting. I’m at the end of my rope. We’ve been together for sixteen years and I love her, I really do, but it’s funny how finances can really cloud over a perfectly healthy relationship. It’s not just cloudy, ABBA, it’s raining. I yell. She yells. We both cry over how we can possibly pay all of our bills. She’s not working right now due to a fall at her job. Her disability checks aren’t enough. Should I ask for a divorce? Is my marriage worth saving if we can’t save any dough?

Dear Cash Strapped,

Dear ABBA,

My friend is in the midst of a coup in South America. I am worried about him. He’s my friend and I love him a lot and I know he’s doing it for the freedom of his people but doesn’t he understand that there are people who love him and need him safe? Should I tell him to stop being so involved in the political upheaval there (though I’m the one that pushed him into it and was involved in it myself until recently)? It seems very selfish of me but I don’t want to see him get hurt.

Dear Confused,

Dear ABBA,

There’s this man I know, I’ll call him Ted. Ted’s in the military. I’m a folk singer. We just started dating but I really think he’s “the one” but there’s a problem (God, I wish there wasn’t!). I feel so good when I’m around him. He makes me feel worthy of a man again (I’ve been thrice divorced). He’s in the army, though, and he’s going to be shipped off to Iraq soon. The last night he’s in town is for this concert I’m having at the local coffee shop. Should I break up with him that night? Like I said, we just started the relationship and I don’t want to have my heart broken when (or if) he returns.

Dear Folk Singer,

Dear ABBA,

I love my postal carrier, “Patsy.” I don’t think she loves me. We had a big argument last month about the little flag on my postal box. Anyway, we almost came to blows. I admit I’d been drinking (I got fired recently from my history teaching job at the local community college) and was belligerent but she didn’t have to say those things she did. Even through that, though, I love her. I’ve put her on this pedestal and wish that I could do something about it. I can’t elude her beautiful wrath! I’m smitten! Should I ask her out knowing she could crush me with her words and actions?

Dear Love Letter,

Dear ABBA,

I was in Paris last summer, studying at the Louvre. I’m an artist with hopes of getting my own gallery in SoHo. I was doing some studies when the guard there (I’ll call him “Pierre”) kept staring at me. He was beautiful. After a week or two of this, I got up the nerve to talk to him. We talked for hours! He’s such a wonderful man. I went back to his place and had the most amazing sex. We talked and we thought that once I started my gallery up in New York he’d quit his job and move to the States with me. He’s married though and has two kids. Should I believe that he’ll leave his family for me or should I just forget him?

Dear Painting Love,

Dear ABBA,

We met on the Internet, me and “Dan.” We talked online for hours. We sent pictures of each another. We agreed to meet at the gay bar in town and then go to the discothèque. Once I got there though, I noticed that “Dan” wasn’t what he said he was. He was just in high school! His parents probably have a curfew for him! I’m 33! He used his brother’s photo. He’s way too young, yet I have really strong feelings towards him. Should I continue seeing him even though he lied to me?

Dear Dancing,

Dear ABBA,

I’m low. I’ve never been this depressed in my life. My mother is in the hospital with esophageal cancer, my brother has just been arrested for insider trading, and my fiancé’s just left me for a barista. There’s more, ABBA. I’m on probation at work for stealing office supplies and I have cauliflower ear. But I know I’m worthy of a good life. I know my grandfather is watching me from above helping me through this. I know I can be an accomplished violist if just given the chance. What do you think? Should I give up?

Dear Down in the Dumps,

Dear ABBA,

I’m seventeen. The prom is coming up and I don’t think anyone is going to ask me to be their date. I know I’m not that popular. I have to wear head gear and I’m really smart and most of the guys at my school don’t really like me but it’s the prom, the only one I’ll ever have a chance to go to. Should I go to the dance alone? Will they make fun of me?

Dear Gawky,