Sam Lipsyte, distinguished alumnus
What is written about or to you in your high-school yearbook?
Herewith I offer a few inscriptions from my yearbook, with annotations where needed, and names removed.
1. From a guy I used to drink with:
You are one of the most awesome guys I know. I’ll always remember drinkin’ and hanging out with you after M_____ kept begging to knock D___C____ out. [M. being something of a hothead and D.C. somewhat churlish this particular evening, if I remember correctly, which I’m sure I don’t.] If you are ever in Philly please look me. I’ll be seeing you over the summer … D.M.”
2. From another guy I guess I drank with:
We are the key drinkers remember at Goldbergs we will have to do it again sometime. It’s been great running track practice with you.
[Apparently I was a key drinker. Good to know not much has changed.]
3. This from a girl I had a crush on though like a bad teen movie it never occurred to me she might have reciprocated until she wrote her phone number in the below inscription. Or maybe she just knew I was a key drinker:
Well even though you cheated off my math paper in Mrs. Demshock, I still love you. We had a pisser at the Hawaiin dance. You’re a pisser to party with and we def will this summer. I’ll miss our homeroom. Keep in touch. Love ya, K.”
4. Finally, from a girl who dumped me:
“Writing in a yearbook is trivial compared to everything that there is to say—Sam, you were my first love, and probably in 30 years you’ll forget about us anyway. Keep in touch.
P.S. I’m sorry.”
[Trust me, I haven’t forgotten.]
Hope you find these entries entertaining.