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The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastily Written & Slopilly Edited
Thursday, June 16, 2005   |    Fiction

Molly Bloom Takes Manhattan

Yesisaidyes Yes because he never did a thing like that before as ask to have a Pierre Deux basket for breakfast all those croissants and little jams Perrier like we did with that bat Mrs Riordan when shed meet us at Bloomies or worse that he thought was such a fine old girl but my god she couldve used just a snog of the Botox shes always poopooing yes always gallavanting off to the Hamptons smutty Mrs Riordan a welleducated Weslyan gal like that might know better than to wear those bathingsuits and lownecks of course nobody wants to see that my god dont my nails look gorgeous gorgeous these decals of little stars which is this months whats hot and dont he appreciate any of it the hours of yoga no wait pilates and low carb everything if only I could lose those last five pounds O but lets not have a bit of fun like the night I wore my new Miu Miu and went for pomengranate mojitos with the girls and all he could do was piss and moan O tragic cause a woman cant have a spot of fun Yes he came today somewhere Im sure the smell on his J Crew chinos it mustve been the secretary or otherwise the personal assistant that dirty sod so maybe he wont notice the stick of the sheets that Blazes Boylans a real tiger in the sack no joke best sex in the city I swear yet somehow when he left in his cab uptown I felt like crying but of course a womans so sensitive I likely need some valerian root or a nice halfcaff skim latte thatd be dreamy not this plabbery kind of manner as Poldys got and now hes going on and on about $500 bikini wax dont he know what a womans got to do and remember when we first met at Nocturne and he made me hungry just to look and he beseeched me lift my orange minidress I had on with the killer heels Prada no of course Jimmy Choo and yes it was different then and Blazes sees how a woman wants to be treated ah yes and Ill get my hair blown out and a nightingale facial yes and go in for some shopping therapy yes and it will be too utterly fabulous can you believe it yes and find Blazes and draw him to my breast all chocomint perfume yes and his heart going all mad yes and Ill say yes okay but then order me another appletini Yes.

Amy Shearn's work has appeared or is forthcoming in Salt Hill, Passages North, 3rdBed, Lyric Review, Surgery of Modern Warfare,, GutCult, and elsewhere. Also, she can touch her nose with her tongue.

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