— Listicles —

Having Felled Gore Vidal with a Punch, Only to Hear the Line “Words Fail Norman Mailer, Yet Again,” Mr. Mailer Can Only Come Up with Answers in the Car, on the Way Home

1. No — they fail you!
   


2. As if they don’t, as well, sometimes also fail you, too. Sometimes.
   Bore Vidal.
   


3. Just fuckin’ with you, man.
   


4. Yeah? Well, self-defense fails you.
   


5. Fat lips fail Gore Vidal. [Note: could lead to retaliatory kiss.]
   


6. Maybe, but my fist is a success!
   


7. Just wanted to see if a black eye twinkles.
   


8. Nice try, Myra Breckenridge.
   


9. I don’t need that many as long as I’ve got my favorite two: “knuckle
   sandwich.”
   


10. Yep – and as soon as you get up, they’re gonna fail me once more.