& Recently . . .

To the Pirates, from the Cowboys

by Christian McNeil

The Cowboys 500 Fountainview Plaza Suite #610 Ward, Texas The Pirates General Delivery Port Lafayette, Virgin Gorda Dear Pirates, This town isn’t big enough for the both of us. And by “this town,” we mean “the retro-childish zone of American…

The Trials and Tribluation of Doug Clifton, Ghost Whisperer

by Christopher Monks.

The Setting: A movie theater, at a screening of The Man starring Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy

Teen Ghost #1: Oh snap! Dude just peed in the pool!
Teen Ghost #2: This movie is hilarious, bro!
Doug Clifton, Ghost Whisperer [whispering]: Shhhhhhhh!

Funniest E-Mail of the Century

by Nick Jezarian

Bahahahaha! Oh man, it hurts. This was a real doozy. I subscribe to some advertising and media industry newsletters and one just came in today that had a poll asking which show would be the season’s biggest hit. Among the…

Polish Fact

Polish-American Athletes
Carol Blazejowski (G.M., N.Y. Liberty)
Tom Gola (Forward, Philadelphia Warriors, N.Y. Knicks)
Sebastian "Sea Bass" Janikowski (Oakland Raiders)
Ron "Jaws" Jaworski (QB, L.A. Rams, Philadelphia Eagles)
Hank Stram (Coach, Kansas City Chiefs)

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Learn Français!:
Quoi-ques; évidemms; ainsi bourdonnz.
Whatevs; obvs; so buzz.

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005   |    Daily Garfield® Digest

Beware the Dust Mites

As Garfield slips further and further into depression, John takes it as a display of his social ineptitude. Garfield lies prone, letting his melancholy eat away at his soul. John does not hug the cat or ask what he can do to help him get through this dark period. Instead, he merely fixates on the mess it would make if Garfield never moved again. Has there ever been a more barren relationship?