Wednesday, October 5, 2005

Nick's Guff
R.I.P., Nipsey Russell

1924 — 2005
Pouring a 40 oz. for Nipsey Russell

Nick Jezarian is clearly a superbly built creation resulting from the union of man, woman, and crustacean. Nick’s crustacean heritage contributes to his being mostly belligerent, constantly angry, yet always amused. Considering Nick’s criminal spelling and grammar habits, the fact that he is part of the Y.P.R. brain trust doesn’t say much about the site. Josh and Geoff have driven Nick’s writing to new levels as he sends his Guff to the staff in an elaborate binary code that can only be deciphered by the light of pixie dust. Nick is Y.P.R.’s resident hip-hop expert, as he owns three CDs and once stabbed 50 Cent. Nick’s favorite word is “word.”

Dear Nipsey Selected E-Mails to the Poet Laureate of Television from People who Mistook the Fan Web Site Nipsey Russell's Funky Palace for the Rhymer's Personal Homepage The following are all [sic], except titles and redactions. N.R. ’n' C.N.R. Subj: charles...
Some of Hollywood's Greatest Surprise Endings Revealed and Synopsized Million Dollar Baby Caught in an agonizing conflict between his faith and his love for Hillary Swank, Clint Eastwood elects to unplug his surrogate's life support. After he departs covertly, a diaphanous, fey-looking Hillary Swank opens her eyes to...
Punting Odie, Pointing at All of Us Cat kicks dog off table, blames world cruelty....

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