& Recently . . .

Does Your Child Have A.D.H.D.?

by Eric Feezell

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder—commonly called A.D.H.D.—affects an ever-growing amount of today’s children and can be severely debilitating. If you are concerned that your child may have A.D.H.D., the following survey, adapted from the Vanderbilt Assessment Scale and brought to you…

Various Restaurant Menus Explain Themselves

by G. Xavier Robillard

Pietra Fria (Italian)
Italy is known for its warmth and rich food. You will not find those here. Our cuisine comes from Asperghia, a remote hill town nestled high in the Dolomites. Our people are indomitable, and our unique cuisine, as well as the profession of banditry, is handed down from father to son. We do not serve wine, for at an altitude of 3500 meters, grapevines would perish. Olive oil we steal from trade caravans that dare traverse our mountain passes. Enjoy our rock stew, flavored with lichen, or perhaps the tender marmot …

Polish Fact

National Anthem
Mazurek Dąbrowskiego, written by Józef Wybicki in 1797.

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Learn Yiddish!
Der Tog nokh der Morgn.
The Day after Tomorrow.

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Wednesday, December 7, 2005   |    Daily Garfield® Digest

He Sees You When You’re Eating His Cookies, You Pudgy Bastard

Garfield, still wearing Santa’s stolen hat, now consumes Santa’s cookies. To add insult to injury, he does it under the cover of Santa’s hat!

Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good, you fat fuck. Stop screwing with him.