10 a.m. — The Hotel Yorba. Personal Assistant: Hello, operator. Receptionist: Hello. Hotel Yorba—reception. P.A.: Yes, I would like to book a room for Meg and Jack of the White Stripes. Receptionist: Oh, the popular beat combo—of course. What kind of room would they like …
Eva Longoria, Overexposed
To be clear: we like a hot little Latin(a) number as much as the next guys. Terri Hatcher gives us no wood, and that other blonde who was naked in the N.F.L./T.O. ad seems like some plastic surgery resident’s final exam, and Felicity Huffman (how we love to say it—FelIIIcity HUUUUFFman) receives awkward MILF-y creds for sure13. But Eva—and the other statuesque and frigid redhead, what’s her name?— seem a cut above, like the cheerleaders who never looked at you in high school. We recognize this dynamic and find it comfortable and reassuring, reminding us at it does of the wasted promise of our youth. Thus, we are fully in favor of Eva capitalizing on her fifteen nanoseconds of fame with as many Good Housekeeping covers as her publicist can squeeze in …
10 a.m. — The Hotel Yorba.