Friday, June 16, 2006


Dick: Well, I guess this is the end of our date.

Date: Thank you for a lovely time, Dick.

Dick: Time … That’s something Lopez will have plenty of at Rikers.

Date: What?

Dick: Never mind. I do that sometimes. I get a little serious at the end of things.

Date: That’s O.K. Well, that karaoke bar sure was fun. I didn’t know you were such a singer!

Dick: Singing comes easy … when you know the words.

Date: Uh huh. So would you like to come inside?

Dick: I am inside. Now let’s see if I can claw myself out.

Date: Right … Anyway … How was your sushi?

Dick: They can dress it up any way the like, but in the end … it’s just raw fish. DICK WOLF!

Date: Oooh! You startled me. How did you make that percussive noise? What was that? A gavel? A door closing?

Dick: Whether a door’s open or closed depends on which side you’re on.

Date: No, I don’t think that’s strictly true. I think that’s more of an inside or out thing.

Dick: I am inside. Now let’s see if I can claw myself out. DICK WOLF!

Date: Yeah, we’ve established that. Where did you get the black placard with your name? Have you been carrying that around all night? That must have been a pain.

Dick: It’s like they say: A man would give up anything he has except his pain.

Date: I don’t know what to say when you say things like that. Am I just—


Date: O.K. Look, Dick. Up until these last two minutes of startling profundity, I was having a nice time. Even though I didn’t learn anything about your personal history or backstory I found you immediately engaging. You kept me guessing and intrigued, but now this. Look, I’m just going to put these last two minutes aside. Would you like to—


Date: What are you saying? Dick Wolf? Is that a command? Look, I’m going inside and—

Dick: Inside? I’ve spent—

Date: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, that’s where I’ll be. Goodbye, Dick.

Dick: … Dick Wolf?

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