Less Overtly Salacious but More Incriminating Republican IM Transcripts

by Teddy Wayne

RUMMY32: what r u wearing
GitmoGuy: standard-issue prison gear

Disquieting Modern Trends: Our Prescience Frightens Us Edition

Little did we know, friends, that when we dropped goofy little Footnote #2 in our most recent missive, we were setting off a series of events that would shake up the world of what still passes for entertainment these days. We feel compelled to review the bidding and offer you—our ever-salivating-for-more public—a response commensurate to our position as cultural provacateurs à la mode.

Masterpiece Theatre Presents: Charles Dickens’ Bleak House, Starring the Gremlins

by Russell Bradbury-Carlin

Welcome to another evening of Masterpiece Theatre. Tonight, we have a special event—an adaptation of the classic novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens … portrayed by the Gremlins from the 1984 motion picture.

An Excerpt from Gotcha! The 500 Best Practical Jokes for Amputees

by William Sawalich

Chapter 4:The Great Outdoorsa (Pages 45-46) … and while the mark is wiping her face on her shirt, with the prosthesis in your clean hand, simply wink and say, “Gotcha!” #131, A Day at the Beach. Sunny days seaside can…

Please Be Allowing Me to Tell You About My Kiosk, Which Sells ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic Caftans, Kilts, and Yarmulkes!

by Kathy Salerno

Hello, and welcome to my kiosk at the Spring Valley Mall! It is called WACKY! WACKY is an anagram of word for “Weird Al Caftans, Kilts, and Yarmulkes!” This is because I sell caftans, kilts, and yarmulkes applied with the…

Coming Soon(-ish)

Mr. Josh Abraham, your humble coëditor, had been mostly absent from this site for much of the past year, busy making a moving picture (or “talkie” as the kids are calling them these days)…

Dear K-Fed

by Simon Savelyev

In Which Kevin Federline Responds to Readers’ Questions and Concerns, Providing Tidbits of His Own Homespun Wisdom Dear K-Fed, I suspect my boyfriend may be cheating on me, but I’m not sure. I think I should confront him, but I’m…