American Standard The Movie
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When Presidents Dream

by David Martin

I’m standing in the Rose Garden. It’s 1980 and I’m pinning medals on the chests of the soldiers who pulled off the successful rescue of the Iran hostages. My popularity rating has soared to the mid-70s and it looks like the Republicans are basically conceding …

Polish Fact

Leading Brands
Cherry Wax

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Habla Español!
Los talentos de Andy Richter se pierden totalmente en "Quintuplets."
Andy Richter's talents are completely wasted on "Quintuplets."

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Literary Hoopla
Thursday, May 31, 2007   |    Listicles

Rejected Titles for Beyoncé’s New Album, Inspired by Today® Contraceptive Sponge FAQs and the “Bubblestand” Episode of SpongeBob SquarePants

by William Walsh


Pelvic Woo

Natural Vaginal Tissue



Ribbon Loop

Sperm Matrix


Repeated Intercourse

Lessons for Beginners

Semi-Squatting Position

…A Dozen or More Daily Partners

Dipped and Ready to Go

Technique, Technique, Technique, Technique, TECHNIQUE!

Dimple Side Up

William Walsh’s stories have appeared in New York Tyrant, Juked, Rosebud, Lit, Crescent Review, Quarterly West, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and elsewhere. Portions of his derived text series sourced from the many (many) books of Calvin Trillin have been featured in Caketrain, Opium, Elimae, and 3711 Atlantic. His first novel, Without Wax, is forthcoming with Casperian Books.