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The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastily Written & Slopilly Edited
Friday, July 20, 2007

Harry Potter and the Deathly Chamber of the Secret Sorcerer's Order of the Hollow Half-Blood Phoenix Stone Goblet Fire Magic Muggle Presto Blah Blah Blah


Presenting one last round-up of Magic and Muggle parodies from Y.P.R.’s past.

The New Harry Potter Book, as Dictated by My Boss, Brian Schmutto
by Amy Shearn
O.K., so we got Voldemort, right, the Death Eaters, you got that part already, right? O.K., fine, so Voldemort and the Death Eaters and the Dementors, terrorizing London, yada yada. Everyone’s scared, you know, make it scary …

Numerous Events That Should Be Included in the Film Adaptation of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in Order to Widen Its Urban Appeal by Andrew Sheivachman
All house elves should be lovingly referred to as ‘shorties’ …

A Muggle’s Guide to the World of Harry Potter
by Pierre Cavanaugh
Written by a guy who never read the books or watched the films, but is pretty good at figuring things out.

Rowling’s Spawn
by George Motisher
At Hogwarts School did Rowling’s spawn
A stately treasure-dome decree:
Where Cash, the sacred stream rushed on,
Through vaulted caves with sunlight gone
Down to a deep green sea …

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief as Experienced by Me Reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by Lauren Verlizzo
Avast! Spoiler Warning! If you’re of the sort who gets all pissy about cats being let out of bags. Um, also, we should point out that the author, Ms. Verlizzo, did not forewarn the noble Y.P.R. editors and thus ruined the book for us before we cracked its spine. If anyone would like to purchase an unopened copy of H.P.A.T.H.B.P., please send a nickel …

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Meet Prince and the Half-Baked Potter by J. M. Houk
Hi, there. I’m Harry Potter and this is my friend, Prince Harry.
Nice to meet you. I’m Prince. My real name is Prince Rogers Nelson. On my 35th birthday, I decided it would be cool to change my name to an unpronounceable symbol …

Harry Potter and the Magic of Puberty by Nick Jezarian
“Dumbledore, can we talk?”
Harry stepped into his chambers and dropped his pants …

Harry Potter and the Bitch Ex-Wife by Geoff Wolinetz
“All rise. Court is now in session. The Honorable Judge Albus P. Dumbledore presiding” …