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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Happy Birthday, Justine Bateman!

Dear Justine,

Hey, you know who I think is the worst late addition to any TV show’s cast? Most people probably say The Brady Bunch’s Cousin Oliver, but they’re wrong. It’s Nick Moore, the Rambo-esque dullard who joined Family Ties in 1985 and stuck around till the end. He sucks! (And that little runt who played Chrissie with some weird growth-hormone problem was really awful too—which puts the atrocity of the addition of the Nick character in perspective.) Nick Moore really, really sucks! Awful. Did you see his one movie, where he played a hell-spawned demon with a broken heart? It was so bad I crapped in a potted plant and threw the plant at the television. Grrr! I hate Scott Valentine, I hate him! Skippy was the scene-stealing sidekick in that show! Skippy! He was plenty of character! What the fuck! Is everybody crazy? Scott fucking Valentine. Please!

Happy birthday, my beschert.

With undying love,
Marc Price
(a.k.a. “Skippy Handleman”)
Skippy Handleman