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Monday, March 3, 2008

Five Things Thomas Pynchon Will Never Say

Daniel McArdle

Pynchon Says What?

  1. “Thanks, Oprah. Great to be back.”

  2. “I suppose they are needlessly complex, now that you mention it.”

  3. “So one day Salinger and I were looking for some cheap publicity…”

  4. “No harm done—I’m a bit of a shutterbug myself. Please feel free to click away!”

  5. “Forgive the interruption, but perhaps I may be of service.” (Pynchon then doffs his rakish musketeer hat in a gallant, floor-sweeping bow.) “I am none other than Thomas Ruggles Pynchon, noted author and critic.”
Daniel McArdle is a freelance graphic designer/trailing spouse/kept man living in Hong Kong with his wife and two daughters. He presently finds solace in collecting short story rejections and in dragging his aged body around soccer pitches, scoring occasional goals and correcting other players who think he is Canadian (he is not).