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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Lesser-Known Quotations from Famous People

             —Winston Churchill

“Excuse me, where’s the men’s room?”
             —Ernest Hemingway

“Has anyone seen my blue tie?”
             —Franklin Delano Roosevelt

“What are you talking about? I don’t snore.”

“Oooh, fajitas!”
             —Edgar Allen Poe

“I drank WAY too much last night.”
             —Benjamin Franklin

“Oh crap, my leg fell asleep. Agggh! Pins and needles!”
             —Marcel Proust

“I feel very bloated right now.”
             —Margaret Thatcher

“Bite me.”
             —Groucho Marx

             —Sylvia Plath

“I’m afraid our time’s up.”
             —Sigmund Freud

“I don’t know … I think a 42 Long.”
             —Abraham Lincoln

“I hate tipping. How am I supposed to know what fifteen percent of twenty-seven is?”
             —Albert Einstein

“God, you sound just like my ex-wife.”
             —Henry VIII

“I had the strangest dream last night. Did you ever have the one where you have to go to school, but you’re naked?”
             —Martin Luther King Jr.

“I don’t have to listen to you! You’re not my REAL dad!”
             —Jesus Christ

Zach Oberman will tell anyone who will listen that he is really funny. He'll probably mention that he's been published on College Humor, but for your sake, don't let him start talking about his work on Underpants on the Outside, or he'll never shut up.