The game ball for Super Bowl XXIII, autographed by David Hyde Pierce
Action Comics No. 1, signed by Whitesnake frontman David Coverdale
Jean François Millet’s The Gleaners, signed by the starting lineup of the 1998 Denver Broncos
Boba Fett’s helmet from The Empire Strikes Back, signed by Walter Mondale
A first-edition copy of Ulysses, autographed by Dale Earnhardt Jr.
When Chuck Norris files his tax return, he often gets money back.
Chuck Norris lives in Houston.
When Chuck Norris dints a stranger’s car, he leaves his insurance and contact information.
Chuck Norris knows how to make a passable tuna salad.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have to shave; he has a beard.
When Chuck Norris sits on a chair, he is no longer standing up.
Chuck Norris is an anagram for “Un-Chris Rock.”
My original television series concept, entitled Central Nervous System of Mencia
My drive to succeed beyond being named “Small-Dog Walker of the Month” five out of the twelve calendar months.
My George Lopez show DVDs.
My conclusion to my five-year-old dissertation on the necessity and imminent success of the Iraq War.
My ability to love.
My guest spot on Moesha.
My good pen.
My fast metabolism.
My memoir about life as a Honduras-born standup comedian who gains fame, success, and accusations of plagiarism in the United States.