Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Here's where the 'Va-jay-jay' is.


Stop looking at it.


Original sin.

Do not talk to your father about this.

Do NOT talk to your brother(s) about this.

Several thick layers of clothing at all times.

There is no such thing as gay people.

I don’t know.

I’m not going to talk about that.

Wait until you’re older.

What kind of a question is that?


Oh, that is disgusting.


Lucas Klauss hails from Georgia and lives in Brooklyn. He reads books with names like Lacrosse Firestorm for a living. His work can be found at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The Apiary, and

How To
Dating and Relationship Advice from the Guy Who Honks His Horn Repeatedly While Slowly Driving Past Women As you slowly creep past her, blaring your car's horn and showering her with unwanted profanity-laced comments about her body, you've got to show her that you're in it for the long haul, not seeking some superficial one-night stand.
Get Quit! Hello? I know you're there; I can here you breathing (or should I say wheezing?).
But, Mooooom, I Was Photoshopped. Because I love you, I am extraordinarily concerned about certain enhanced photos you saw while dabbling in the popular networking site, Facebook.

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