Tuesday, November 11, 2008

“Hamburger in Paradise”
(To tune of Jimmy Buffet’s “Cheeseburger in Paradise”)

Hamburger in paradise
Sesame seed bun with an onion slice
A burger WITHOUT cheese would be nice
It’s just a HAMburger in paradise!

(To tune of the Everly Brothers’ “All I Have to Do Is Dream”)

Bream bream breeam
Bream bream breeam
Whenever I want FISH, all I have to do is eat breeeam.

“Goodbye England’s Pizza”
(To tune of Elton John’s “Goodbye England’s Rose” (which was to the tune of Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind” (which was to the tune of Bo Diddley’s “Goodbye Bo Diddley”)))

Goodbye England’s Pizza!
Though we never ordered you at all
We wanted pepperoni
But you just had anchovies!!!
(Kazoo solo)

Lucas Held is a New York City based comedian, writer and filmmaker. Search his name on YouTube to have your perception of reality plucked from the street in broad daylight, tortured, and left face-down in a ditch to die the lonely death of an anonymous drifter.

Ill-Conceived Musical Double Billings or, Ways in Which a Booking Agent Could Get Fired
Top Five Animal Pop Star Names Rock Groups Featuring Animals but Not Eric Burdon.

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