Monday, November 17, 2008


Cheeky-Toned Sentences Uttered by Stephen Hawking, as Evidenced by the Placement of Exclamation Points in A Brief History of Time

(Page numbers correspond to the 1988 edition by Bantam Books.)

Big 'Bang'

Page 24: I personally find it hard enough to visualize three-dimensional space!

Page 39: The farther a galaxy is, the faster it is moving away!

Page 72: If, for some reason, we could only observe the ball at low energies, we would then think that there were thirty-seven different types of ball!

Page 97: So, paradoxically, smaller black holes might actually turn out to be easier to detect that large ones!

Page 99: It is a bit like running away from the police and just managing to keep one step ahead but not being able to get clear away!

Page 111: We are, in any case, probably unable to build a larger detector!

Page 112: Thus, in a sense, the astronaut will be “recycled”!

Page 131: I later realized that his bubbles would have to have been bigger than the size of the universe at the time!

Page 171: This has not been found to agree with experience, unless that turns out to be the explanation for people who are supposed to have disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle.

Page 175: What a comedown from the great tradition of philosophy from Aristotle to Kant!

Suggested Emcee Names for People with Disorders Which Might Make It Difficult to Actually Rap

MC Aphasia

Stutta-Masta Steve

The Notorious L.I.S.P.

Voice Cracka

Dr. Glossophobia

Chronic Hiccupping Harry

Lil’ Mumbler

Monosyllabic Mel

Rufus “Perpetually Choking on a Chicken Bone and Gasping for Air” Carter

Da Mute

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