Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Fashionistas,” by Bret Easton Ellis

Boy meets girl. Boy drugs girl. Boy binds, gags girl. Boy kills girl. Boy buys new shoes, Italian leather, with tassels.

* * *

All’s Swell That Ends Swell,” by Terry Pratchett

Something happened. Then something else happened that rendered the first thing that happened quite moot. These things happen.

Lovers and Fighters,” by Jackie Collins

“Yes! No! YES! No-o-o! Oh, yes!”

* * *

Things That Go Bump in the Night,” by Stephen King


* * *

Tantrum,” by Chuck Palahniuk

Midgets. Fuck ’em. The end.

Mike Richardson-Bryan used to be a lawyer, but he’s all better now. No, really. His work has also appeared on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, in the pages of Cracked, Stitches, and The Wittenburg Door, and recently appeared in The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2007. He lives in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada with one wife and two dogs.

Eleven Improbable but Nonetheless Real Baked Goods Listed in Descending Order of the Amount of Puerile Imagination Required to Make them Ripe with Sexual or Scatological Innuendo.
That Time When Time Was Different Than Normal When a team of distinguished scientists approached me about time traveling to the year 1682, I was like, "I need to know what I'll be getting paid first." Then they said that there would be a small remuneration, and I thought that remuneration meant fortune, so I was like, "Sign me up!"
Proposed Warning Label for Christian Rock Albums Parental Advisory: Contains Uplifting Lyrics.

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