Tuesday, November 11, 2008

“Hamburger in Paradise”
(To tune of Jimmy Buffet’s “Cheeseburger in Paradise”)

Hamburger in paradise
Sesame seed bun with an onion slice
A burger WITHOUT cheese would be nice
It’s just a HAMburger in paradise!

(To tune of the Everly Brothers’ “All I Have to Do Is Dream”)

Bream bream breeam
Bream bream breeam
Whenever I want FISH, all I have to do is eat breeeam.

“Goodbye England’s Pizza”
(To tune of Elton John’s “Goodbye England’s Rose” (which was to the tune of Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind” (which was to the tune of Bo Diddley’s “Goodbye Bo Diddley”)))

Goodbye England’s Pizza!
Though we never ordered you at all
We wanted pepperoni
But you just had anchovies!!!
(Kazoo solo)

Lucas Held is a New York City–based writer, comedian, and improviser. He’s terrific.

Review of the Hit TV Show The Wire by Someone Who Has Not Seen It From what I've heard, this is one of the best television dramas out there and I definitely know that it takes place in Baltimore.
Book Treatment to Publishers A.S.A.P.! I'm thinking of writing a book of party tips for throwing a great party. But then I said to myself, there are plenty of party-tips books out there. But what there aren't is, are any party tips books geared toward black people so here goes! (Note to publisher: KEEP READING!)

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