Tuesday, December 23, 2008

— How To —
Your Onion Web Video Writing Application

Delusion of Being Jesus Christ Falls to Second Place Behind the Delusion of Being Parker Posey

The prestigious journal Nature is reporting today that the number of schizophrenics who believe they are Jesus Christ was surpassed on December 8 by the number of schizophrenics who believe they are Parker Posey. Never before in recorded history has any delusion surpassed the Jesus delusion. Montage of interviews with schizophrenics who look exactly like Parker Posey and believe they are Parker Posey, interspersed with interviews with schizophrenics who look like Reese Witherspoon and believe they are Parker Posey.

— Listicles —

Boorish Pickup Lines Inspired by the Recession

David Jaggard

Baby, you should take a walk on Wall Street to boost the Dow, 'cause you're sure putting a spike in my pants.

— Recycled but Re-Relevant —

Lights, Dreidels, Action!

— Fiction —

Whopper Sluts

Tom Flesher

Miracle! Nicolae, elder of village, bring to visitors Rumanian traditional delicacy of olives with language of cow as the gesture of peace to the strangers.

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