by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran
1. Bamboo socks
2. Japanese visionary animator Hayao Miyazaki
5. Quality, Iranian-grown pistachios
* Live, not stuffed.
Daniel Brauer spent most of the last three years writing a novel, but in his spare time he translated official Iranian dispatches from the original F?rsi. His work has appeared in Pindeldyboz, and is forthcoming in Prairie Schooner.