Black Friday Doorbuster Specials at the Dollar Store!
Knockoff brand names at F.D.A.–rejected Chinese brand prices! 
Tone Lōc’s "Where the Wild Thing Is"
Grounded by my mom, sent to bed without dinner / So I float my boat in a sea of funky cold medina.
Hallowe'en Rehash
My Rejected Submission to Cosmo's Halloween Issue, Entitled "How to Lose a Guy in One Spooky, Scary Night: Halloween Costumes for Those Wanting Out" and What Not to Give Trick-or-Treaters on Hallowe'en Night
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