Thursday, February 18, 2010

“Hi, I hope you don’t mind my being forward, but I’d love to get a piece of that asbestos litigation.”

“Waiter, my proteins are undercooked. And these endless breadsticks are going to make me obese.”

“You know, this Vioxx isn’t the only thing making my heart race.”

“Would you like to come up for a cup of very, very hot McDonald’s coffee?”

“Excuse me while I slip and fall into something more comfortable.”

“Oh my, that position is definitely not ergonomically correct.”

“Would you like a cigarette? Just kidding.”

Kristin Hillery is honestly just a boring person who lives in Austin, Texas.
Janice Chan was an associate editor of the Texas Travesty from 2003–2005. She will be joining a law firm this fall and plans to practice law during the times she isn’t trying to submit to humor sites. Wait, I mean the other way around. Aauugh, no, don’t publish that—CONTRACT IS VOID, CONTRACT IS VOID!

Befriend Y.P.R. That's right, folks: your humble literary journal has canceled its MySpace, Friendster, and AOL chatroom accounts.
Oft-Overlooked Winter Olympic Sports Bobsledding, skating, and skiing are all great, but don’t these other winter sports deserve just as much coverage?
The Catcher in the Rye: The Unauthorized German Translation Ja, so, dis is der story uf me, a young mensch who vanders arount New York mit dem red hat on mein kupf.

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