“Hi, I hope you don’t mind my being forward, but I’d love to get a piece of that asbestos litigation.”
“Waiter, my proteins are undercooked. And these endless breadsticks are going to make me obese.”
“You know, this Vioxx isn’t the only thing making my heart race.”
“Would you like to come up for a cup of very, very hot McDonald’s coffee?”
“Excuse me while I slip and fall into something more comfortable.”
“Oh my, that position is definitely not ergonomically correct.”
“Would you like a cigarette? Just kidding.”
Janice Chan was an associate editor of the Texas Travesty from 2003–2005. She will be joining a law firm this fall and plans to practice law during the times she isn’t trying to submit to humor sites. Wait, I mean the other way around. Aauugh, no, don’t publish that—CONTRACT IS VOID, CONTRACT IS VOID!