Aaron Spiewak

Aaron Spiewak lives in Manhattan. He is writing a novel; yes, that same novel he told you he was working on two years ago. But life happened, and he got more responsibilities, and suddenly he didn't have as much time as he'd like to write anymore. Just get off his back about it already. He wrote this list; when will it ever be enough for you?

Some Ground Rules I Gave 50 Cent and G-Unit before They Played My Daughter's Bat Mitzvah --At no point should the bat mitzvah girl be addressed as a “bitch”, “ho”, etc., even if it fits in iambic pentameter. --All entourage members will be asked to disarm and turn over gats before the commencement of the horah ...

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