Christopher Monks
Christopher Monks works hard for the money. So hard for it, honey. So hard for the money so you better treat him right…What’s a matter? You don’t believe he works that hard? Well, who are you to judge? Are you Judgey McJudge or something? Wait, are you? No, really; tell me. I want to know. I’ve heard about Judgey McJudge and from all reports I understand it’s best not to cross him. So in the chance that you are Judgey McJudge, I apologize and please don’t eat my cat. If you’d like to see how Christopher Monks works hard for the money, visit his Web site Utter Wonder.
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On Playing Laser Tag with Joan Didion
I thought playing laser tag with renowned author Joan Didion would be a lot of fun but, boy, was I ever wrong. What a sad sack.
The Trials and Tribluation of Doug Clifton, Ghost Whisperer
The Setting: A movie theater, at a screening of The Man starring Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy
Teen Ghost #1: Oh snap! Dude just peed in the pool!
Teen Ghost #2: This movie is hilarious, bro!
Doug Clifton, Ghost Whisperer [whispering]: Shhhhhhhh!
Teen Ghost #1: Oh snap! Dude just peed in the pool!
Teen Ghost #2: This movie is hilarious, bro!
Doug Clifton, Ghost Whisperer [whispering]: Shhhhhhhh!
An Internet Humor Writer Comes Clean
It comes with great sadness and shame that I admit to using steroids while writing stories for Internet humor websites in 2004. Each time before sitting down to write I would inject myself with anabolic steroids. A lot of it....
An Excerpt from Bill O’Reilly’s Upcoming Book, How to Have Hot Sex Using a Falafel: For Kids
Now, I know there are some in the liberal élite who frown on incorporating a falafel into hot sex, especially when it comes to teaching kids how to have hot sex with a falafel, but those high-minded intellectuals are so out of touch with today's society that I don't really care what they think.
VH1’s I Love Christopher Monks’s Labor Day Weekend 1986
Pope John Paul II: Talk about having a bad weekend! Geesh! What a loser!
Legends of My Fictional Baseball League
“Dapper” Dan Fitzgerald, Fireball Faulkner, Rube Roth, Slappy Nabokov, and more.
Elizabeth Smart: The Christopher Monks Interview
MONKS: Hi, Elizabeth. SMART: Hi. MONKS: How are you doing? SMART: I'm good. MONKS: You mean 'well.' SMART: What? MONKS: It's 'I'm well,' not 'I'm good.' That's the correct way to say it. SMART: Oh, right. Sorry. MONKS: No biggie....
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