August 09, 2007
Inspired by the inexplicably popular Ché Guevara T-shirt, Yankee Pot Roast proudly presents The Beatrice Arthur T-Shirt. Now, you too can proudly wear a portrait of acerbic countercultural revolutionary icon Bea Arthur on your chest.
Shirts are available in Men’s S, M, L, XL, for just $15 (shipping & handling included). Please send an e-mail to email@example.com for order inquiries.
October 04, 2006
Mr. Josh Abraham, your humble coëditor, had been mostly absent from this site for much of the past year, busy making a moving picture (or “talkie” as the kids are calling them these days). The film, American Standard, is currently in postproduction, undergoing the exciting processes of color correction, sound mixing, and the occasional reshoot or pickup shot.*
The rough cut was shipped off to the fine folks in Park City, Utah, last week. Please enjoy the teaser and the extended trailer, below. And, yes—investment opportunities remain available!
[Right-Click; Save Target As]
SMALL [7 MB]
MEDIUM [15 MB]
LARGE [35 MB]
HIGH-DEF [52 MB]
[Right-Click; Save Target As]
SMALL [9 MB]
MEDIUM [21 MB]
LARGE [38 MB]
HIGH-DEF [72 MB]
*Want to be an extra in one of those pickup shots this Monday, October 9? Shoot us an e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org.
March 17, 2006
Got a band, a Web site, a book, a store, a clothing line, or anything else to promote? We need to dress dozens of N.Y.C. apartments for our film, American Standard, and would be happy to feature whatever props you can donate or loan. You’ll join the illustrious ranks of Steve Madden, Joe Boxer, Mooroo, Proctor & Gamble, Crest, Barbasol, Puffs, Gillette, Duane Reade, 3M, Crunk, Folgers, He’Brew, Dove, Suave, Axe, Trojan, and many, many more fine product placers in our film.
Please get in touch with us: email@example.com
January 01, 2006
Perhaps he’s just extra saucy this morn from New Year’s Eve revelry, but today’s column is simply engorged with innocent-but-suggestive terms:
* jaws of coming
* snatching (not plucking)
* San Francisco saloonkeeper
How many Times pieces can thrust four snatches into as many pargraphs?
“Clichés for ’06,” The New York Times, Sunday, Jan. 1, 2006.
December 19, 2005
“Study: 11M Americans Can’t Read This Story,” by Ben Feller (AP), Metro New York, Dec. 16-18, 2005
December 16, 2005
Collected in two handsome, leather-bound volumes, with raised spine, gilt edges, and over 2,300 illustrations, The Complete Radar is yours for only $289.00.
Makes the perfect holiday gift for:
Laid-off magazine staffers
Apple, Kal-el, Coco, Maddox, Lourdes, Phinneaus, Hazel
Those who want to appear “in-the-know”
November 04, 2005
Your humble coëditor, Josh Abraham, will be directing an independent feature film. It’s called American Standard, and will star these extraoridnarily talented, funny, beautiful people.
But we need places in which to put them! In The Can Production is seeking scads of New York City apartments, offices, bars, and restaurants—specifically, their BATHROOMS, big and small. Want to show off your can? Want to get a credit (and cameo?) in a film? Know a great place we should check out?
Please, friends, do drop us a note. We promise not to leave the seat up.
Thank you for your interest and support.
September 03, 2005
“New Orleans is not fast or energetic or efficient, not a go-get-’em Calvinist well-ordered city.”
—from “What It Means to Miss New Orleans” by Mark Childress, in The New York Times, Sunday, September 4, 2005.
“There will be pictures of bodies falling from the twin towers, beheaded kidnapping victims in Iraq and corpses still floating in the waterways of New Orleans five days after the disaster that caused them. It’s already clear this will be known as the grueling decade, the Hobbesian decade.”
—from “The Bursting Point,” an Op-Ed column by David Brooks in The New York Times, Sunday, September 4, 2005.
June 30, 2005
There’s a casting call for an independent film seeking your dramatic talents and pretty faces. Plus: the chance to be directed by your humble Y.P.R. coëditor, Josh Abraham.
Details via Back Stage magazine reproduced here, but please do check out preliminary information and eventual updates at In the Can’s Web site, which is still under construction.
SLM Production Group, L.L.C., is casting for a full-length feature film in the style of Swingers, Singles, 200 Cigarettes, and Clerks. Financing is still being put in place and principal photography will likely commence in November in NYC. It is a bawdy tale of 20-somethings and how they cheat, steal, and push each other through a day in N.Y.C., all to end up at the biggest party of the year. Seth Melnick, prod.; Josh Abraham, dir.
Seeking experienced actors only and will look at both union and nonunion performers. Seeking true-to-life New Yorker types— White-collar, Blue-collar and Downtown-trendy males and females, all races, 20-35; Creepy CEOs, male, 40-50; Funky-looking Female: 20-22, piercings, tattoos; Hippie Female: 25-30; Asian Female, 25-30; and Goofily Dancing, Oddball Male, 25-35. Visit website www.slmproduction.com/inthecan for more on the project and breakdowns. Some roles require brief partial nudity.
Send pix & résumés to
SLM Production Group, LLC
c/o Seth Melnick
340 E. 93 St., #3G
All actors will be paid in the form of a stipend, union rates, or profit sharing points, depending on the size of the role. Videocopy, credit, meals, and transportation provided. Producer plans to apply for SAG Ultra Low Budget Film Agreement. (First posted 6/30/05)
Please throw questions and comments hither: firstname.lastname@example.org.
June 30, 2005
Hey, kids! Do you like the TV?
As many of you know by now, Geoff Wolinetz, your humble coëditor, taped an episode of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” in December of last year. The show is no longer hosted by Regis. Those of you wondering what it’s like to meet him will either have to talk to Kelly Ripa or stake out his apartment because Mr. Wolinetz has no answer for you. The show is now hosted by Meredith Vieira who is as lovely and pleasant as she appears on those Bayer aspirin commercials. In addition to answering some questions that test patently useless knowledge, Mr. Wolinetz tell some incredibly lame jokes and one horrifically unfunny story.
For those of you that are interested in seeing a performance of Olivierian proportions and live in the New York metropolitan area, please tune into Channel 7 (ABC) at 12:30 p.m. on Wednesday, July 6th. About five minutes into the show, Mr. Wolintez will be on and he will stay there for the rest of the episode. Without spoiling anything, watch the half-walk/half-jog and quick wave that he gives to the audience as they call him onto the stage. If lumbering, awkward movements were tasty sandwiches, he’d be a boatload of Big Macs. For those of you outside the N.Y.C. area, please check your local listings. No matter your location, the airdate remains the same.
Congratulate Geoff while hitting him up for a loan: geoff - @ - yankeepotroast . org.
June 07, 2005
This month (um, circa) the Y.P.R. Book Club solicited your clever tricks satirizing or inspired by Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, whether you’ve read the book or not.
Extremely Long and Incredibly Bad Writer’s Blockby Angela Genusa
Everything According to Incredible Acquaintances by Matthew Rorem
Correspondence between Jonathan Safran Foer and Nicole Krauss That Explains How They Wrote the Same Book by Leigh Stein
Intellectual Property by George Motisher
Recycled but relevant: “Everything Is Translated.”
May 13, 2005
May 02, 2005
Mr. Panopticist poynted toward an article exploring the pandemic tabloidization (or de-broadsheetification) of newspapers, illustrated by a fanciful tabloidic mockup of The New York Times.
Luckily, Y.P.R. subscribes to home delivery of the Bizarro World Sunday papers, where The Times is Postified and The Post is Timesized. Whatever, it all ends up Sploided in the end.
Behold! May Day, 2005’s newspaper mashup. Take Kaopectate as needed.
For-real front pages:
March 20, 2005
March 13, 2005
March 10, 2005
Behold “Three Jokes about Pirates,” a short piece of humor writing, and a digital painting, and a short film, sort of, via arrrrt.com’s artPad, by Dennis DiClaudio, (who really ought to get the lead out).
(Viewing tip: Set the thing to “Fast.”)
February 22, 2005
February 17, 2005
Welcome. As you can see, we’ve finally caught up with late-20th Century technology. Our upgrade is still underway, and you’ll notice most of our archive links go nowhere. Please be patient with us as we rejigger our gears over the coming weeks, during which the old archives remain browsably perusable.
Meanwhile, keep them submissions rolling!
Thanks for loving our awesome Web site.