Darby Larson

Darby Larson is an artist, engineer, writer, reader, TV watcher, chess player, computer hacker, red wine drinker, seafood eater, aspiring horologist, car driver, bed sleeper, sleep dreamer, trend setter, rock star, politician, marine biologist, N.B.A. All-Star, Alaskan trout fisherman, Indian shaman, Darbosco Greek god for the clinically insane, vacuum-cleaner salesman, husband, human. His works have appeared at kittenpants.org here and here, eyeshot.net, and insolentrudder.org. He occasionally tinkers with a Web site, Darby.tv. Darby is waving at you right now. Hi! Please wave back.

Similes Grizzly bears are like dolphins: Neither lives in the desert. And also, they both eat fish, except that bears eat big salmon, and dolphins eat little salmon. There are flowers in the world that, if smelled, will kill you. In...
What I Hope to Find in Hell Lite Beer Marilyn Monroe A previously unutterable curse word Democracy Vampire bats Baseball bats Pool tables with built-in beer coasters along the rim Soft-core porn More than enough lawyers Ramen noodles Baking-soda toothpaste Andy Kaufman Chia Pets Solicitors Final exams...
Cliffster Notes Frankenstein by M.S.: A scientist builds a person. The built person kills the scientist’s family and friends because after he got built, the scientist freaked out and ran away like a little pansy-ass coward, and now the built man feels...
Extreme Creative Writing Take out your pencils and go to the electric pencil sharpener; I want all of you to have them sharpened in ten seconds! I want to hear a constant blur of electricity with no pauses! If I hear a pause...

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