Fun with Your New Head: The Sequel
Your new HEAD is thirty percent more sensitive to pain than your old HEAD, thanks to refinements for which you can take credit.
For Those Who Are Having Their Brains Dismantled
For those who are having their brains dismantled, an important document is a "Hold Harmless Agreement."
In 2009, Lucifer and Jehovah Wrestle for Control of Your Psyche
Lucifer and Jehovah engage in an eating competition. Brains are on the plate and your psyche is the prize.
Yahoo! Feels Your Pain
Yahoo! Answers (Nylon, Cotton, & Hemp Edition) crowdsources your holiday bingeing queries.
Lolita's Grown-up Xmas: Producers' Notes
A forbidden attraction. An unthinkable love. A predictably damaged victim who's become the perpetrator, because that's how it always goes in these things.
Harold & Kumar Have Xmas Dinner at Naval Station Guantánamo Bay
Harold planned to spend Xmas day watching Jean-Claude Van Damme movies.
Your Onion Web Video Writing Application
Delusion of Being Jesus Christ Falls to Second Place Behind the Delusion of Being Parker Posey
Boorish Pickup Lines Inspired by the Recession
Baby, you should take a walk on Wall Street to boost the Dow,
'cause you're sure putting a spike in my pants.
Whopper Sluts
Miracle! Nicolae, elder of village, bring to visitors Rumanian traditional delicacy of olives with language of cow as the gesture of peace to the strangers.
God Came Down from Heaven and Stopped the Bullets
Unriddled by lead, we will ponder the enigma of miracles and the majesty of God changing Coke into Pepsi!
Glamour Magazine's Sex, Love & Life Columnists Interpret Your Husband's Testicular Configuration
Configuration: Both descended.
What he's trying to say: You are a warm and calm presence in my life.
The "Can't Concentrate" Manatee
The "Can't Concentrate" Manatee's article on Kafka for
Bookforum was due in eight hours. She stared at her computer thinking about pasta.
Synecdoche1, New York
I went to Schenectady, New York, once. This may not be true. I did not lose my virginity in Schenectady. My father was there, in Schenectady. He was not "there" at the moment I lost my virginity, but I did use the condom he gave me when I went away for college.
The <Meta>morphosis
Frank Kaufman awoke one morning after a night of uneasy dreams to discover he had 513 comments on his latest blog.
