Jimmy Chen

Karmic Rejection Letters Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your subscription renewal notice. While it was deftly written—and the lowered rate somewhat fiscally compelling—we’re afraid your magazine just isn’t a right fit for our mailbox.

Hip Hopsticles Why LL Cool J is Going Back to Cali | Why Rap Is Freezing | Instructions from Michael Jackson

Tom Hanks Films, Arranged in Diminishing Vicinity to the Ocean

Goth Round Table Charlie Rose welcomes to his show the rockers Robert Smith, Morrissey, Marilyn Manson, and Trent Reznor.

Rejection Letters before They Were Famous Wonderful penmanship. We wish you luck elsewhere.

Safeway I see you like Cream of Corn, which reminds me of a dream I had last night. Let’s just say there was a lot of cream of corn everywhere. I will take your can of corn and buy it. I will go in the express lane and buy it really fast. I will leave the grocery store and you will see me drive off in my Mercedes Benz. Within a day or two I’ll be back. I’ll ask you on a date. I’ll touch your buttocks. I’ll punch your face in.