Pitchfork Reviews Albums That Don't Exist
Straight up: this album would be one of the more impressive debuts of 2010 if it was or ever had been created by a band that was at some point formed.
Tonight's Tasting Menu
The flavor of the biscuit, infused with fennel and East European herbs, will be striking, perhaps even shocking, and may remind you of a moment of betrayal in your life. Additionally, it will cleanse your mouth.
Your Subscription to Netflix Has Been Canceled
Your dry cleaning has been incinerated, the remaining value of your gift cards has been electronically deleted, your electricity will be shut off in three days, all your jokes will fall flat, and you will forget how to whistle.
Lives of the Mutant Ninja Turtles
Midlife crises on the half-shell.
Popular Adages from Surly Richard's Almanack
"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and I hate you."